The Almighty Donut Speech

Every time the President of Blizzard Entertainment is called on to deliver a speech, he enlightens the masses with the almighty donut:

“We view the game market like a donut. The center of the donut represents the core market…the hardcore players buying and playing a lot of games. The casual market, the mass market, is the rest of the donut…much bigger than the core market. To be successful, we have to hit both markets.”

Hail to the King and Blizzard’s donut, baby. How dare he compare the market to a donut, there is no reason to taint the scrumptious donut image. Leave the glazed donuts out of this - they didn’t do anything to anyone, but make us warm and fuzzy and satiate our appetites for sugary treats.

Morhaime’s speeches are dull and hackneyed, chock-full of “no shit” Sherlock themes. This insight is paralyzing because it’s rehashed, I’m not seeking some secret magical formula that would make scream out, “So that’s how they did it, where do I send the check for my money-making-mmog kit!” But, I want to bash my brains in with my WoW coloring book, (ah you have one too, my favorite is the alliance night elf edition) when I keep reading the same regurgitated speech: The steps to success kiddos, you have to recognize the market as a donut, be accessible, polish because it turns out gamers don’t like buggy incomplete games, and release a solid product!

It’s good to be the President, sitting pretty with 9 million World of Warcraft subscriptions under your belt, people will take your word as gospel. Well, it’s been over a year pal, get some new material. Especially for an AGDC engagement, this isn’t some petty, “Look at this MA!” interview you’ll end up framing for the office wall. There is a stockpile of money hats at Blizzard HQ, every employee has several lying under their desks. Go collect 10, bring it back to a BEWB (Blizzard employee with brains) to write your speeches. Polish that.

There is a trove of brilliant content being discussed and shared at the AGDC panels, but you won’t find any from Blizzard’s horse’s mouth. Unless it’s your first ride.

I want a pony. I never got one for my birthday.