World of Warcraft is a lawless, dangerous place

The Washington Post discovers griefing and poses the thought maybe virtual worlds need more law enforcement. What should be an article solely focused on Second Life’s sordid pitfalls ends up being tragically hilarious.

In World of Warcraft, the most popular online game, with an estimated 8 million participants worldwide, some regions of this fantasy domain have grown so lawless that players said they fear to brave them alone. Gangs of animated characters have repeatedly preyed upon lone travelers, killing them and making off with their virtual belongings.

I’m going to testify to you friends, the cruel nature these animation gangs inflict upon a person’s soul! These heathens must pay for their crimes against animationity; I urge you all to take precaution when you are buying cheese from our very own, Ben Trias in Stormwind. Just the other day, we was negotiating a cheese deal when I got jumped by a gang of animated dancing gnomes, they surrounded me and forced me to take off my sweet tailored pillow pants, and made off with my holy cheese and it had holes in it, holes people! It’s getting crazy, this place is changing for the worse, these ruffians need to be locked away! I plead that you all, please vote a big fat yes on proposition 01: Animated prisons for the wicked since we can’t recreate fire and brimstone, paid for the people at max level.

The sad thing about the article is that it misses the point, there really is a dangerous and lawless place in WoW where the hooligans prey and leave the innocent with scars, that place is the Barrens chat. Spend enough time there and you spawn into a retard, I swear a WoW player could win the national science fair with a project about the Barrens Chat retardation phenomenon. For those kids seriously considering my genius idea, too avoid diminishing braincells, craft a tinfoil hat out and when used, it grants immunity to retardation as a result from the disease that is the Barrens chat.

Hat Tip: Where Toys Break by Lum