plaguelands.comCowbell Shenanigans
Intro: Partial Recap with injected commentary. Enjoy.
# Norad II Burger
# Hell Bovine (delicious ground beef burger with an ultra spicy sauce)
# The Cow King (a massive one pound 100% beef burger – epic!)
# Horadric Stew (choose the right ingredients, and you might get an epic stew!)
# Moonfire Spam
# Stimpaks (super caffeinated energy drink with added vitamins and fructose)
# Frost Shock Smoothie (orc, tauren and troll flavors available)
Not on the menu:
Gnome Sangwich: The infamous best selling sangwich from the world of Norrath.
Patchocoberrilla: Random ice cream treat, different toppings depending on what class the eater plays, only served once every two months and must be eaten before patch install.
TeleHax: This side order has been banned. Whatever scrumptious meal the eater wants just teleports directly into their stomach as long as they are in range.
Gold Farmer’s Delight: A shrimp fried rice noodle rice cuisine laced with hardcore ingredients which will keep the farmer awake for a week straight, IGE worker union card nets a 10% discount.
Congratulations on level 60: You have to find at least 20 people before eaters can be seated in the raid section. Other eaters with level 60 have nowhere to sit and must leave burgercraft.
* Detonate: Destroys the wisp, dispelling all magical buffs and draining 50 mana from each unit in an area around the wisp.
* Gatherer: Skill to herbalism, mining, and skinning increased by 10.
* Permanent Death
* Treeform: Turns the wisp into a tree for 30 seconds. During this time, spirit is increased by 300. However, the wisp’s chance to dodge or parry axes is reduced by 50%.
Wisps, I fart out wisps as if they were sweet Halloween candy. Nrghghgh! Murlocs? Maybe if they have tourette’s and can do dolphin flips in the lava and shoot holy spear bazookas from their arse. Otherwise Night Orcs should be the planned master alliance race. The number one feature would be an even more questionable dance repertoire than the male night elves which would are going to be animated after Richard Simmons classic sweating to the oldies. Groovy.
* Edwin Vancleef will occasionally shout “Hey you guys!” as players fight their way through Deadmines.
* New wing added to Scarlet Monastery called the Graveyard! Check it out!
* A total of 26 new flightpaths have been added to various points throughout the Barrens.
* Additional grass areas have been added to the enemy faction’s zones. This grass is exceptionally green.
Controversial Hidden Patch Notes:
Introducing a Queue for when players log off, if any player exploit and skip the queue when they next log on they will receive the deserters buff for a 60 minute duration.
Barrens now features somewhere around 40 more shades of brown.
Players may only send tells at meeting stones.
Bunches of other shit has been implemented that not even the patch writer knows about.
I love Blizzard’s humor, but their treats last year were far more hilarious..
SOE: The Quest for Lucan - Model Search
Dammit, SOE needs bring back the Antonia model contest, I can’t stand a flamboyant Lucan, he’s a bigger whore than Antonia, upon viewing his modeling clip I don’t think I’ve been this disturbed since Smedley’s last post.
The contest is in a frenzy considering the look-a-like submissions have been posted and are very terrifying, probably SOE employees, oh yea, if you were wondering I am voted for the goblin. Nerf the vote! SOE did a lot better this year than last. I heard they did some other scavenger type of quest that wasn’t real too.
Dark Age of Camelot: Save a horse ride a paladin 
A picture is worth a few words or so I heard. Hilarious and scary at the same time, I want to ride a giant midget. Dark Age of Camelot is possibly my favorite April Fool shenanigan for this year’s roundup.
Aggrolings on Live 22 Update leak for the EverQuest II
*Lord Nagalik is now a squirrel. A very angry squirrel.
*The door to Everling’s bedroom is now locked, with a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the doorknob. We hear his girlfriend is up visiting from college.
*The Freeport Militia has decided to give up fighting, and take up needlework.
*See any militia members for great tailored aprons.
I’ve put way too much thought into this, but someone at SOE came up with the whole live thing for patches, live, live, live. Screw that, I would call my patches the Super Updates of Updates I II IX IV V. Hm, okay I’ll come up with my own aggroling patch submission.
*A very angry squirrel has been replaced with an extremely furious ice squirrel.
Nerfbat: Announcing a New Studio
There is some subliminal message in this fantastical fantasy, I honesty believed the news for a split second, with Lum the Amateur leaving Mythic, Koster taking his brain and fleeing SOE, and all the other bedlam in the industry it’s almost plausible this would be the truth! Damn is the disclaimer long in the comments. haha.
Gamespot had some ok-ay bits that could have been hilarious, but if you eat some magic mushrooms that might do the trick if you don’t find them funny. Cowbell Hero, Top 10 Final Fantasy Games Gamespot also had a bit on World of Starcraft, but the link wasn’t working, blah-blah. How original you gamespot bastards.
I’m such an attention whore — So yea, I wrote the best Vanguard review in the history of beta leaks and I broke the laws.
What else, well I had a few ideas I didn’t end up doing for one reason or another, thankfully because I’m too funny to be giving this shit away for free. I was going to spoof and mock up plaguelands as the unofficial fansite for John Smedley and have his pictures as the banner with the words “mhmm cunty” and do a whole letter to the players thing, maybe I’ll do it anyway.
I also wanted to announce Mourning as the new flagship MMOG for the Xbox360 and interview egomancer who just retuned from his Romanian adventures in ghost bustering. An exclusive. I had some other crazy World of Warcraft stuff planned as well.
Wiki: Finding the April 1st Funnies
Looking for humor — something, you didn’t say it had to be good, go find it!
One of my non-gaming favorites: April 1, 2006 - Motion Picture Association of America, Inc. (MPAA) chairman Dan Glickman and Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) president Cary Sherman today announced the historic merger of the two organizations. The newly-created entity is being called the Music And Film Industry Association of America, Inc.
My favorite was probably An Open Letter to Big Timmy’s Burger Palace. If you’ve ever seen an open letter on any game forum, this will be hilarious to you.
Nice, I missed that one and probably several other worthy cowbell shenanigans! I recently wrote an open letter on the fohrums about Vanguard’s beta selection process, so I found Moorgard’s piece particularly amusing.