plaguelands.comMy Holy Itchy Rectum
My rectum itches, because I shave yonder, and I use a cheese grater to accomplish such a beastly feat and this activity occurs at least four times a day, all while I toss salad at the Olive Garden. However, despite your high interest in itchy assholes enough of the mental scarring treats for the time being and let us forward onto less important matters. I was busy gandering at my shrinking e-peen stats for this reblog and too my astonishment I noticed an influx in the graphical mechanical charted data analysis provided by the evil doers at statcounter I counter your counter and I was dismayed by such bean countering activity.
I had to investigate this intefering feverish upheaval. This type of spike is only possible if I influence pink taco or zonked of slashdotted with the money hats. The culprit? Well according to the schematics aggrome is quite the populous place for shenanigans and where all the madness is converging from. Interesting tidings, some plot too try and aggro me.
I do not play Everquest 2, in fact I already beat the game, you didn’t hear? It was a legendary GM event, I somehow banged the Queen, when she wasn’t looking and when that happens you automatically win Everquest 2 and move onto the next game. I have the beta infoz and I am breaking the FNDA.1 here first! My holiday gift to you EQ2 players. This secretly in beta SOE game is called Everexchange, in this game you play as John Smedley and get players to click on billboards and exchange items in the game for real money while releasing bugged content and offering the shittiest unfinished implementations the mmo genre has ever seen! Now if you would excuse me, I must get back to helping Brenlo the it’s a rough life but someone has to live it “waaah waaah” and camp for his thanksgiving turkey stuffed with your credit card receipts.
Welcome those of you who happen to be freshly aggroing and to the true stalking super foozles I apologize for the long absence, I have been avoiding the genre thus affecting this blog as well and keeping myself occupied with other hobbies such as drunken decadence which includes my management in organizing dangerous dueling spectator events with professional prize fighting goats and the mighty street midget I met and tossed last month. Happy Hooligans.
About this entry
You’re currently reading “My Holy Itchy Rectum,” an entry on Plaguelands
- Published:
- 11.23.05 / 3am
- Category:
- General
So… 1/2 through the second paragraph, I thought for sure you were closing shop, taking your toys/epeen/foozle knockers home and closing the door to this festering pile of marshmellow goodness that we call plaguelands. Good to know that ain’t happening… today.
You see, nothing lasts forever. Maybe Everquest, but not much else. So I’ve been thinking maybe you need to start “planting your seed” and have some little ones. It’ll be like your own little dynasty. As the kids grow up (raised by your many foozle wives since you’re will be too busy counting your copper pieces in WoW and being a slave to the site), you can watch their progress and determine which of your little gremlins will become the heir to the Plagueland Theme Park. (And on and on and on and on and on, until they come out with Internet 4.92 at which point it’ll be all in our heads and your offspring will claim world domination on the year of the kuala.)
And if you tilt your money hat just the right way, you can come up with master schemes to make you lots of dough. Maybe sell T-shirts “Krones is my daddy!” or “I got banged by Krones” or even “Have you killed your kittens today?”. I mean the possibilites are endless man. You’re already freaking flipping farking famous. Just think if you’re famous to the 18th degree! Good stuff.
Speaking of dueling spectator events… there are some Renissance actors that gather in the park across from my cardboard box with the garage. They dress in their “plate / aluminnum” armor and use shiny hubcaps for shields. (The super fly knights of “I don’t have a life but I do have my sister on occasion” use spinners so they can be like their chars on WoW that have the spinner shields of doom. God… I want to be like them.) I wanna head out there one Sunday dressed as a Bishop and scream how “FOR GOD AND COUNTRY YOU FOOZLES!”. I’m sure that’ll impress them enough for me to then order them into the nearby road where soccer moms SUV’s will play tag with their armor of the whale. I’m get warm feelings just thinking about it now. Anyone have a towel?
I’ll keep passing the word of yer home on da web to my friends. Maybe they’ll be cooler than me and thus I’ll fade into the obilvion, outshined by their witty wang workmanship.
9f
You suck untill you post more. Period.
9 finger licking good,
Me quit? Nah, I’ll always have shenanigans and conspiratory adventures to yammer upon like my recent plot to free every lawn gnome in existence and replace them with dwarves. Plan zerg spawn foozle is already in affect, you have a seventh sense my friend. You should join the nearby gathering and lead a raid in slaying the soccer dragon, plenty of good times to be had.
Shelbyville,
I do suck at posting! What subject matter would you like to read about? Mmo rants, news, funnies, help me out! Any requests?
Bleh I don’t know. Crap if I knew I’d have my own blog! More Vanguard rants, more community building insights, more about how people need to stop promoting girl gaming. Like they didn’t game before, how developer hope that if told often and interestingly enough girl gamers of the generation would conform to the image and voila! The girl gamer generation has become a dependable demographic group. More posting period. Keep up the good work.
More postings about itchy rectums, got it!