Virtual Crack Kills

Was it wrong of me to tell my friend that that would be the way I’d like to go out? Ok, maybe there are a few things that would be higher on my list:

1) While making sweet monkey lubbin to Keira Knightly/Natalie Portman.
2) Getting stepped on by the stay-puff marshmallow man, proving once and for all that he DOES live in my closet!
3) Choking to death as the dentist is putting gold caps on my teeth because I won the lotto.
4) Getting killed by a stray meteorite while sitting here at work, bored out of my mind because this job is The Sux meaning that I’d never have to come back to work, give my 2 weeks notice, or put up with the assfoolery that goes on around here. (Sadly, I wouldn’t be able to play WoW anymore… but then again, if its really heaven, there WILL BE WoW! Probably Keira Knightly too.)

And speaking of KN, I could barely focus on the first link in your post because there was a link to a page with pictures at bottom of the page. FYI, I found out what hell will be like for all you crazy leprechaun worshipers. Just see how long the pictures load… ahhhhhhhh.

Basically, the whole Chinesse limiting and outrage is due to the fact that the government is unable to make as much money as some of the farmers who are dying. The facts they are leaving out of these stories are the fact that all these deaths are happening in sweatshops. (Ok, just made that up; you believed it for a second though didn’t you?)

Ninefingers

If you are hardcore it is definitely one of the most peaceful ways to pas over, but personally I would be patient and wait for the Burning Crusade expansion, well, I think people should at least wait and find out what the new fantastical alliance race will be, because if it ever was pandas, I would thwart the grim reaper off for a few years with my bare hands and go around killing as many pandas as I could.

After panda season is over, if I could pick and choose, the way I would perish would be from my fingers exploding because my playing skills are so incredibly paramount. Now, that’s what I call cat ass death. Everyone attending my funeral would be required to eat Wendy’s chili, with plastic fingers as spoons and they could distribute my in game earnings and would make out like bandits, because I’m freakin rich in the game, but poor in the real world.

1. Fun picks, although I would make Natalie Portman equip a wig if she was still bald, because bald, she reminds me of a female Mr. Clean, and Mr. Clean scares me like that plastic king from BK. Who the fuck am I kidding… She is queen, she could missing both her legs and wearing an eye patch and claim to be a lesbian pirate and I’d still hit it. I would also have to put a hot female midget on the list, hey, they’re out there, somewhere, because tossing a hot midget after sex is on my list of things to do before I die.

2. When can I move out, it’s getting cramped in here! I’m tired of eating my roasted marsh mellow balls, they taste so good though.

3. Or you could always choke on a golden strapped retainer that looks like an oral sex toy, but if you won the lottery in Compton, I guess it would have to be the golden caps. Someone could make their own movie after your life story: Get poor and died trying.

4. A sole meteorite launched out from the inwards of a scary intense vortex spinning inside a black hole ten million miles away is not a manly enough way to depart to the netherworld, it should be the toilet seat from the space station, covered in alien dung, I stole that reference from somewhere. Aliens do exist, I live in Area 50 and I duel Art Bell every weekend and always win because I still have my plastic ghostbuster weapons from since I teamed up with Egomancer last year.

Did you ever play Everquest? I’ve had the somber experience of attending several Everquest funerals, the Chinese were so well organized and held a fancy memorial with rainbows and leprechauns like you said, it really makes me envious. The funerals I’ve witnessed in Everquest consisted of everyone frolicking about like a bunch of hippies and taking turns telling stories about that person who passed. I was mainly there for the 8 bit fireworks and gnome sandwiches, and yes, I’m going to hell. I hope they serve World of Warcraft in hell, because heaven sounds boring if we can’t play games or have super hot friends like Keira Knightley and Steve Buscemi.

I still do, and it has been two seconds!

I find it strange that they’ve decided 3-5 hours is the maximum amount of time that it’s healthy to play in one session. It would make sense if they said 8 hours, given that that’s a standard workday (though I’m not familiar with the work culture in China, so 8 hours may be incorrect). I’m allowed to sit at my computer for 8 straight hours at work, and the only side-effect of that is being bugger-eyed for the rest of the day.

Ah… the Gnome has a point!

3 hours is just not enough time for them to farm me some IGE gold! I’m gonna have to start giving even more blood just to get me enough money to repair my armor after a group of roaming gnomes train me with 1843 moonstalkers! That happens a lot more than I’m gonna admit too.

I wonder if Bli$$ard has contacted the Chinese government and offered them 3 Happy Meals w/ Barbie toys (which could feed 2 cities if you include gnawing on the plastic legs) if they’d help curb the Chinese gold that is flowing across the digital time machine that is the internet. Wonder how long it’s gonna take OUR government to figure out that if you tax that Phat Lewt, it’d be enough to pay for a new Social Security system?

But back to your point, oh small but not “small” gnome-man office worker. It is ironic that playing more than 3 hours a day is hazardous to your health, but the sweatshops where little children work 10 hours a day making our NBA star’s Nikes (and plastic Bling-Bling) is ok? I think not. Maybe Bli$$ard will announce another expansion pack where you can explore the Great Wall and fight to free those kiddies, all the while hording the Phat Lewt you know they’ve got hidden in their cookies of fortune! Bet they still wouldn’t allow us to be pandas. What dance would they have gotten anyway?