Viva El Avolition

History is important, like when I made history by becoming the first level 60 night elf in my sanctioned quarantined area. Sure there was no competition since my nearest neighbor is 200 miles away above ground, but that doesn’t matter because it was the biggest triumphant moment since the big bang, I call it the big ding. Catchy, I know. Unfortunately, historical accomplishments are not all about me or you, sometimes knowing the so called important historical scientific experimentation like evolution can come in handy if you want to be a smarty pants asshat around your imaginary friends.

Such as the historical era in evolution when fire penguins roamed the earth and yetis used them in extreme polar sports which were a part of the ancient Tundra Olympics that took place before the dynorauses age, penguins eventually evolved from the fiery magma stone like creatures they once were only too extinguish into the wobbly like slippery boring creatures they have become. What a crying shame for the penguin race.

If you are a genetic freak of nature you know evolution isn’t just about penguins, scientists discovered a few hundred years ago that humans evolved from ginormous ancient flying dynorauses with 9 legs that went around kick blasting each other with moon lasers strapped to their face until the last dyno gliding through air became a herbivore and stabbed itself in the jaw numerous times and quickly shat out a small tribe of infant humanoids before taking its last dying breath. A truly tragic and yet riveting scientific historical event, we evolved from flying dynorauses with 9 legs! It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

Factoid: Some game developers who were hardcore history buffs even based the famous Turok video game about this particular age of time.

And yet this sceintific evolving is still occurring, including the evolution of robotic devices that provide us with pleasantries and computers with arcadiac games like ET. A drastic evolution of species is about to rise against the humanoids, evil robotic consoles such as the Phantom and Ngage 2.0 will have such advanced AI they will devour our button mashing hands in revenge for mocking them all these years. Computers will suck humanoids into the matrix and turn our physical bodies into useless transistors to power their superior nano technology and make frybread for themselves. Not even the Nintendo Revolution can save us. Bastards!

Go prepare for your demise and read all the chapters on The Evolution of Gaming on how one day robots will be crushing human souls into extinction. Dangerous!

The article covers everything from sports games, space combat, MMORPGs, adventure games, driving games, turn-based strategy, simulations, RPGs, platform games, first person shooters, and real-time strategy games. I stole this last logical and sane description from Foton - Thank you for the reblog compadre.